Sunday, March 30, 2008

Have a closer look into 'things'.

Check out the Urban Guru Cafe if you have not already done so. - Click HERE.


Hi Gilbert,

I see that the one being driven on is just a concept being driven on by another concept in the mind. - Meanwhile there is a constant seeing observing the process. - Every time I focus on the I-thought there is a changing of the point of view from which the observing is done. - Is there really a "point" of view at all? Whatever "I" do, the seeing seems to be happening from a "point" "behind" "me". - Almost in the same way that one can´t see one´s own head.

Although I understand all this on some level the sense of "I" is still very strong. - There is still this powerful urge to DO something to travel further along the "path", to move closer to the "goal". Will this urge ever lose its´power?

These insights seem very intellectual to me and has not really changed anything in my life. But maybe that´s all more of the same "seeking-business" that the "I" loves so dearly. - How can I quit it?

I feel really tired sometimes and just want to drop this whole thing.

Once again thank you for taking the time.

Best regards J in Europe


It will drop off by itself.
The intellect has NO power at all. - The believed in 'entity' is a fabrication - there never was a 'you' that 'did' anything. - The 'thinker' - the 'doer' - the 'believer' are all thought based - appearances in/on awareness.
Only belief makes it all seem real.
Is there an 'I' if you don't think about it?
That 'idea' of being 'someone' is just another idea, yet it has been believed in for 'so long'.
So-called society has this core belief of their being 'individuals' and so a lot of 'feedback' supports that idea - it is all dream like and it cannot 'stand alone' in the light of SEEING.

It is seen through.

Even though it is radical to point it out, 'Society' is just another idea.

Society is a concept about multiplicity - separate individuals in groups etc.

What we are talking about is Non Duality. - There is NO duality in Non Duality.

Everything appears as seemingly separate things within the WHOLE.

Everything MOVES upon emptiness.
The reference points 'of view' appear' and disappear, they are replaced constantly.
The SEEING does not need a reference point, the 'mind' does - that is what mind is - reference points.
That is what mind is - reference points in a spacious (no) thing we call or name as 'mind', which is actually awareness - the idea that there is such a thing as mind, is merely another idea and ALL ideas appear and disappear in or ON Awareness.
You are that which never changes - that is so obvious, yet for the mind it is far too subtle - it can only 'know' what it has named - that 'knowing' is fabricated knowing and is ALL from the 'past', even though there is no past as such.
Impressions register ON awareness and then they are translated by the acquired mind - and that is what is believed in - the translation - and the direct and immediate SEEING is only SEEMINGLY obscured.
Look closely and SEE that it is all 'an appearance' - all appearing in what you ARE.
What you ARE is 'space-like' - emptiness which is the KNOWING of every movement and every appearance.
Your account shows that there is indeed this experienc-ING of THAT (what I describe).
The experiencing is not creating a 'you' - an experienc-er - or any experiences.

The ACTUALITY is only this immediacy - it does not change - and there is no room or time for any entity to take form in THIS actuality.

This is extremely subtle and yet it is totally available to KNOW this - putting concepts upon it is where the deviations of mind come into the picture.

It may seem like a razors edge. - Yet what you truly are has never existed anywhere other than AS this immediacy. - No one ever enters the now - nor leaves it.

THIS direct and immediate experienc-ing is all there ever IS.

Stay 'with it' and SEE the truth of what I am saying - KNOW that this space-like awareness has no boundary and NO center.
That is the decisive experiencing - AND the KNOWING of that, without 'having to become' a FORM (habit of 'ME') is what they call the Great Perfection - Non Conceptual Awareness.
No One can claim it - those who attempt to claim or brag about owning it are just insubstantial appearances - dream like notions and should be ignored.

"Let no man come between you and your God" - The Bible

Drop the (you) me concept and drop the God concept and just BE.

Just SEE - be the SEEING only.

The whole matrix will slip and slide, undo itself and in witnessing, even the slightest undoing of it will be significant - yet you must remain as the undisturbed witness - then the witness will also dissolve before your open view - a boundless view with NO point of reference.
It is impossible to describe, yet I have describe it quite well, at least for those who have tasted this freedom.
For the others, they cling to their beliefs like a child to a security blanket.
What can be done?
By whom?
There is no problem - that is not an idea or a concept.
Those who insist that there is a problem are the maintainers of the belief in the problem.
'Who' has a problem?
Conflict starts in the mind and energized by belief - it appears as a perpetuating mechanism which may lead to a bloody mess or not.
And YET all such appearances (beliefs) actually disappear by themselves if they are left alone - and they do.

Strange and wondrous.
The point is that psychological suffering is not necessary.

Warm regards - Gilbert.

Mike writes:

Are you aware while asleep? - Or do you require the mind-body to be aware? The only experience we seem to have is through this mind-body. - To speak, or think of a deeper awareness is difficult for me. - If I am what all this appears on, then it makes sense that "I" should be able to automatically know that (I want to say "experience", but I know there's no-one who experiences). - It all sounds so simple, yet even when I think of nothing and just know "I am", well there's just no great truth revealed to me, or I don't get the "a ha" moment. - Do you know what I'm trying to say?

Thanks, - Mike


Awareness is non dual - it is timeless. It does not sleep.
The sleep state appears in it - for the body to regenerate - it is nature.
The IDEA of being someone disappears in sleep.
Awareness is PRESENCE - how can it leave?
There is an idea that the experiencing is because of, and THROUGH, the body.
The body and the content of mind are appearances and are obviously KNOWN from beyond them.
That is the significant factor.
As long as there is a belief in the transitory reference points of view that appear in the mind, then it will remain a mystery.
One must witness the mechanics of the mind clearly.
There are long standing habits, some appear to be very subtle.
It is as though one must catch them, see them and witness them disappearing.
In that experiencing, there is a FACT - that fact is that I remain and what I thought I was has disappeared.
That KNOWING is what can be called a 'decisive experiencing'.
It is first hand information that cannot be given by another - or read about or passed on by some guru or teacher.
First hand, immediate Knowing - not a concept, idea or image.
The problem is all seekers have so many concepts to play with and they play endlessly with them - and they IGNORE what is so obvious - the fact of their own being - the natural 'state' which is wordless, thoughtless.

How can anyone convince you of this?
You must look closely yourself.

The essence of this investigation is NOT seeking - it is SEEING.
Arrogance of believing that I am 'someone' - someone special is the problem.
That is why so many gurus and teachers are 'bad news' - because of their own ignorance they display that 'special-ness' as if it were the prize that everyone is looking for. - That is the irony of the trap of seeking.
Be cautious of who you take on as a teacher.
A teacher worth his salt will not keep you bound - his job is to set you free as soon as possible.

Warm regards - G.

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Can THIS immediate presence be postponed?

If you have not done it already then check this out - click here. - The Urban Guru Cafe - a podcast 'radio' style program packed with 'direct pointers'.

There are many website on Non Duality but few that I feel an inclination to recommend. - There is a list of recommended ones on my Links Page on the main website. - One highly recommended site is Bob Adamson's site. - Another is Randall's site.

Randall is a young fella who 'fell out of the mind's trap' - He is 'on the ball' and is clearly expressing things well - check it out he has some 'new tech' stuff happening also. - Click here to visit his blog.

Regular Notes:

Email: Hey Gilbert.
I just finished the e-book of yours,"Everything is clear and obvious"....Wow! - I don't know but, well, after that, there is no need to read anything. - I have never read a text before where IT is possible to happen.

There appears that there is a 'reason' why non-duality will never be popular. - It's because it leaves you with nothing, and now....who wants that?

Well, Osho once said that you have got to put some sugar on the truth , otherwise nobody will take it.

Anyway, thank you for the e-book. - I am going to read it forever. - I am 'behind' the lines.- regards Roshi


Hi Roshi, The e-book is clear and precise with NO sugar. - One could say that that is intentional, even though I do know that if I added some sugar it would be a lot more popular - but my 'privacy' would then be crowded by seekers wanting more and more sugar. - It is interesting to note that Osho had hundreds and hundreds of followers around him constantly, yet few ever got to speak with him 'one to one'.
Osho put lots of sugar on the truth - he was seductive a story teller - a very popular one - popular because of his charisma, the sugar and his ability to entertain and make seekers swoon in a 'temporary' blissful state. - The seduction and the devotional aspect is so sticky and binding for the mind and 'heart'....and 'ego' sense.
Charismatic teachers seem to collect seekers, not set them free. - Only a clear teacher has freedom to move about without being surrounded by seekers, decade after decade. - How this situation is mistaken for a way to freedom is mystifying. - When speaking with such devotees, it is obvious how fragile their beliefs are and how the truth is avoided at all costs.

Osho collected many stories from many traditions and was also an accomplished student of philosophy etc. - He had a bright intellect, that is for certain.

My comments may offend a few, (nothing new in that) and the fact that the 'thing' that is offended is actually the obstacle that keeps them bound - that 'factor' is the thing that needs to be investigated. - Old ideas and old attachments are stale - they keep one from SEEING what is immediately obvious.

I have enjoyed some of his writings many years ago – today I see that he is very clear at times and at other times his words are expressing confusion and so they are merely entertainment for the mind. - So many of his devotees are still wandering about seeking without finding. - I know of none that ever went beyond seeking.

There is ONLY this moment of KNOWING - and even the notion that there is a 'moment' is just another concept, an 'appearance' IN this 'knowing' that I AM – The truth is that I AM THIS unchanging presence.
The unfolding patterns of life do not stop - the emptiness is full and IT over flows and appears as THIS immediate LIFE and what you ARE is the KNOWING of it – so you are prior to all appearances.
Yes, you are behind it all - beyond it all - but there is nothing you can say about it in objective terms - all expressions are spilling out of that space of knowing - you are THAT.

In listening to your own voice, can you find where the words are arising from?

Please feel free to write whenever you wish.

Warm regards - Gilbert.

P.S. The e-book mentioned is download-able from the main website - top right hand side of screen.

Second email from Roshi:

Hi Gilbert!
I have a question about the statement Bob says: “Start with the fact that you are that”.
But how can you start with "that" if you don't Know (aware of) That? - If you are you are already there?

That statement has a tremendous importance for me, it's a way to go around the concept of me - may be!



Yes. - It is a tremendously pertinent statement - the same as "I AM THAT".
The simple fact is that what you truly ARE does not have to go around the concept of ME.
NO STEP needs to be taken in any direction - all 'directions' are only conceptual and all lead AWAY from THIS fact of BEING.
YOU are present and aware! - Or more correctly expressed - There is PRESENCE 'before' any thought arises.
(Also- During the thoughts appearance and after its disappearance) - that is SO because presence is timeless - appearances are transient.
Some of my associates in this Non Duality 'thing' get hooked on specific details, like the difference between Consciousness and consciousness (Big C, little c).
All that stuff is just not necessary.....and it is conceptual. - There is no having to "first see this before you can see that". - Pure SEEING is happening 'before' the mind realm kicks in, with all its conceptual stuff. - KNOWING that fact is so immediate and so obvious - but no spiritual empire can be built upon what is TRUE.
All spiritual empires and reputations are built upon conceptual differences and preferences etc.
All such 'things' are transient! - There are NO exceptions whatsoever - no matter what ANYBODY says!!!
What you truly ARE cannot be a transient appearance - a thought, an image or concept, mood, state or whatever.
It is so Clear and Obvious, no one sees it - because they approach it from a place of ignorance - as a conceptual form, ME, and that is NOT the living presence - not the real, not the I am-ness (presence).
So to start from the fact that you are THAT is simple - drop all conceptual frameworks and just BE - SEE and KNOW – Know-ING THIS presence without boundaries, without conceptual prerequisites – IS not through the mind – it is before what the mind translates it as.

It is so simple, everyone misses it - because they are believing that they are a 'person' and that person is trying to become 'something' - something that they are not and can never be - they have an idea of what it is they want to become.
It is an IDEA only.
Use your own innate discrimination - whatever resonates in the 'heart' - in the being, that is usually true.
What resonates in the intellect, or resonates with the imaginary spiritual self-image or only in the head, is usually just dream-like, unreal.

Nisargadatta says - "Stop pretending to be what you are NOT and don't refuse to Be what you ARE".

There is no point in getting hung up on any words and their meaning.
Sacred and profane are equal at the so-called 'point' of their arising.
That 'point' is empty space - there is no 'person' there - just pure knowing.
At the heart of every expression is the Non Dual 'state' of being and non being.
Every expression is THAT no matter 'who' expresses it.
There in that appearance, it also appears that some point 'away' from the heart of it all and others point straight back at it.
The 'judge', the 'judgement', the 'jury' and the 'sentence', is all 'of the mind'.

The false cannot stand up to the investigation.

Sri Siddharameshwar Maharaj

Quote: - "Duality is due to two 'entities' - the 'seer' and the 'seen'."


THIS immediate presence is all there is - it cannot be postponed or escaped from, except seemingly in the mind-scape of duality.
Where are you seeing from?
Is that 'place' not clear and empty?
Is there any duality in it?
It, that space-like awareness is where the thinker appears and disappears.
The seeing, the knowing is non dual - it knows itself.
The so-called 'mind' cannot recognize its birthplace - its own origin - it can only label it with learned words and ideas.
- Gilbert.

The Urban Guru Cafe is like a short Radio Program - devoted to the 'direct teaching' of Non Duality and to the dissolution of the errors of belief.

Yes the Urban Guru Cafe is up and running - Episodes are ready to download, or listen to. - Place your comments on the site - or email contact is from the site itself. - The third program is about to be uploaded.

It is something quite different to what is available 'out there' and it is quite compact and very direct in its exploration of various points.

Have a listen and see for yourself.

Click here to go to the Urban Guru Cafe site. - Enjoy.

Some excellent stuff is still to come, so join the podcast and you will be automatically notified when a new episode is uploaded. - Please write to the podcast producer with any questions or requests about the program or related matters.

An email received:

Hi Gilbert,

I must first inform you how much I enjoyed the podcasts which were recently posted on the Urban Guru Cafe. - Absolutely brilliant and lucid pointers! - Please thank the producers for this invaluable help.

I am at a seemingly frustrating junction (for a lack of a better word) on this pathless path. I've read everything that I've been able to get my hands on in English (Ramana, Nisargadatta, Bob, your works) and it has been extraordinarily helpful. - But, I've reached a point to where I've realized that all reading is fruitless. - I don't care to read anymore (or for much of any book for that matter). - I might read a paragraph here and there from time to time, but I fully understand that I won't "get it" from reading, nor will I if I meditate, chant or any other practice.

There is nothing to be said, there is nothing to be done for realization, this is certain. From this conclusion, - I've been going about my role in life and "playing the part" in the comedy lovingly, doing what's needed of the moment without regard to the results - living quite peacefully and happily. - The call home is very strong, but living in this manner is postponing the HERE and NOW.

Recently, I have been brutally honest in my self-inquiry; mindful of all thoughts and actions.- I am starting to notice more periods of clarity - moments that don't have labels or feelings.- It is much like being an invisible video camera.

Self-inquiry is mentioned by many to be one of the most direct paths to realization because it points to correct understanding. - This method seems to be the most effective for me - but this seems like it is becoming another practice, like meditation, where I devote hours of time and postpones the NOW. - Intellectually, I understand that if I truly want it NOW it will reveal itself in THIS MOMENT.

Could you please help clarify this issue?


Chicago, USA


When we say that we intellectually understand something it is highly misleading for ourselves and everyone else. - What can be recognized is that this clear presence of knowing, which is 'understanding' is 'a-priori' - BEFORE the intellect (comes into play). - The intellect is 'of the mind' (process) and understanding (how it is known here) is an aspect of awareness – awareness is non-dual and mind is dualistic.

This discrimination between awareness and what we call ‘mind’ (thought, image, concept and ideas etc) is necessary.

Self-realization has been made into a BIG DEAL and that in itself ‘creates’ a problem that cannot be solved (for the mind).

This so-called 'moment' THIS moment right now is self-realization just AS IT IS.

How could it not be? - and for whom is it not self realization?
The whole universe in this instant - THIS INSTANT is that movement of self-awareness - it is self-aware - there is no other awareness!
There is a long standing habit , which is 'going back' (so-called going back) to 'when' the mind first took on a belief that 'I am not that' - separation - me and not me.
THAT moment is truly THIS moment (No time-No separation - One presence) and so in THIS moment one can be free of that habit (or any habit) just by SEEING what the mind does and knowing that what you truly are not that habitual activity. -Anything seen is an appearance IN or ON awareness. - You are awareness - there is nothing else.
If you let the mind rest on nothing at all - in BEING the SEEING and nothing other than THAT immediate function-ING (seeing), then everything is recognized to be an appearance - EVERYTHING, thoughts, states, the body, the world and the universe all APPEAR in that KNOWING space.
We have simply ignored the obvious and have 'gone' with the thoughts, believing that they are real.
What is REAL is unchanging and it is empty of all qualities except for that KNOWING.
So, even though individuals attempt to be self realized, that is impossible because it can only be relative and so it is limited.
The one who has realized THIS - that sense of individuality has almost totally dissolved into the KNOWING and never returns as a believed in 'entity' and yet the body and mind continue as the functioning expression of THAT self-realizing ONE. The realization is that I AM THAT - that ONE without a second.

Radical, in the terms of worldly things, and yet it is the only true nature there is.

The individual, trying to 'do' something in order to 'gain' liberation, is a trap and it is something that can never bring the result desired. - The FORM can never become the FORMLESS. - It can only ever APPEAR and DISAPPEAR. - This can be seen very easily in the nature of things. - Have a look.

(Those who pretend to be individuals that have been liberated through some 'action' are fools - even though they may be highly regarded by other fools and held up as great teachers etc. - They may 'know the spiritual teaching inside out' and yet they 'teach' only their own arrogance - ignorance and so no one really finds freedom with these teachers - all they can do is pretend to have found it - just like their teacher. - These short stories I tell about ignorant gurus are not necessary! - so forget them.

The ONLY way out of the messy business of seeking is in NO MIND.
Gurus usually feed the seeker with endless concepts and that is slavery to concepts.
It is never ending.
Meditation is useless because it takes on a mechanical nature very quickly and it nearly always includes a fixation, an idea of a meditator and then lots of concepts are added onto that 'me'.
Just SEE that the living intelligence that you ARE is the very thing that imparts meaning to all that you read, see or hear.
The stress of seeking dissolves naturally as this SEEING recognizes itself as beyond everything.
This 'knowledge' is not popular simply because it dissolves the habitual grasping identity.
How many can bare that?
Everyone has the possibility if only they hear the clear message because that resonation uncovers the courage to be what one is.
Stay with what resonates with you - in this presence of being aware just relax into an open view. - Drop all concepts and just be.
Do this as often as possible and everything will reveal itself.
As soon as there is any sense of grasping that subtle resonation will appear to disappear.
Some say that one must be earnest and it does appear that way in many cases.
When the mind is one pointed, many distractions will naturally stay away.
Make a space in your life for this - it is the only purpose there is - not a 'purpose' for someone or some-thing - it is simply a space in which one can recognize what is real in yourself. - Once discovered, you will not be able to name it or describe it - but that KNOWING is unmistakable.

Warm regards - Gilbert.

Saturday, March 01, 2008

Urban Guru Cafe is OPEN for business!

Urban Guru Cafe - a NEW radio style program on NON DUALITY.
Take the time to have a listen - put it on your ipod or mp3 player or listen on line.
I think you will be pleasantly surprised.

Today's Note:

Good Teachers? - There are NO teachers, good or bad, anywhere except in the appearance of ‘things’. - Your own Essence is the very thing that should not be ignored - then a natural discrimination comes forward.


I have been reading your e-book, and I'm officially blown away. - I have been searching for something for so long, and I'm exited about what I'm reading. - You seem like someone I could ask a billion questions of. - I'm going to finish reading your book, but would you entertain a question or two if I had a few?
Mike A.

Reply: Yes you are welcome and I am easily available to answer questions.
For those interested the free e-book version of "Everything is Clear and Obvious" is down-loadable from the main website "Shining Through the Mind" dot net. - top right hand corner of screen.

Email: Hi, I'm G, from Portugal.
I am writing just to ask if you know of someone in Europe who gives talks in the Nisargadatta/Bob Adamson tradition, because the persons I know who talk here are of the No practice, NO teaching, nothing to do kind and it has not been very helpful that kind of message. - Regards - G


Hi G, I know of no one as crystal clear as Bob is.
Although, Tony Parson's (not of the tradition you as about - talks London and other places in Europe, I believe -lives in Devon area) is pretty good and a chap called Nathan Gill, although I believe he is not teaching or giving talks these days. - There are many so-called teachers but most of them are telling 'stories' of attainment and TIME. – Recently some of them have caught onto the fact that their 'stories' are being exposed and so they attempt to copy what we could call 'a true teaching' - they try hard to convince everyone they ‘live’ it - and that kind of makes them unbearable to be around and eventually quite sick, in more ways than one. - Then, I notice that they justify even that, by making it into some (imaginary) sacred 'thing' - they say the sickness itself comes from their 'work' - then they add to their story that by helping so many 'seekers' the sickness intensifies
(gross self-pity there, no mistake) - It just shows how manipulative they are in steering their crowd of believers. - Such EGOIC demonstrations are oh! so shallow and such a pretense, it stinks of 'self importance and pride'. - How they 'con' so many is really a marvel. - It is all stories, including this account, and one must recognize them for what they are. - They don't help anyone and just keep the mind going around and around on that endless search. - That self-delusion can be broken quite easily but it appears to be very difficult, because of belief in 'the story'.

The 'answer' is not in the mind! - Never was and never can be! - It is immediately obvious, yet one must 'come back' to the clear empty space of knowing 'before' the believed in 'entity' is recognized for what it is.

The 'point' is to come back to the simplicity of presence - simply being present and then what is true can reveal itself 'more fully' - and it is not a concept - awareness is not a concept. - KNOWING that alone, is enough to know.
THIS presence is effortless. - because IT already IS - just as it is.

My second book has been translated into your language.
I can get an e-book version to you if you would like to read it.
Warm regards - Gilbert

Email: Thanks for your reply. I don´t like, very much, the way Tony Parsons talks because he focuses a lot in the awakening event and he is always saying that any practice will reinforce the I so it leaves one helpless. - Though we could ask who is the one who is helpless? - About your book, which is translated into Portuguese, I would love to read the translated version, thanks. - G from Portugal

Hi G, thanks for the feed-back about Tony Parsons. In coming to a ‘point’ where you have a ‘strong impulse’ to know the truth – then one will challenge the teacher and then an opportunity to find what is true ‘appears’ for BOTH concerned.

In seeing through the desire to be WHOLE, one realises that I am Whole already and the illusion loses its hold – even though it never had a hold in the first instant.

It all ‘appears’ in TIME and the fact is that AWARENESS is TIMELESS – ever present and THAT is what you truly ARE. – The rest is a mirage.

A lot of garbage gets thrown around about teachers, who is clear and who is not.

The ‘key’ is to come back (yourself) to the basics - in this moment and SEE that ‘everyone’ (including the teacher) is simply an appearance in BEING, in THIS presence.
In Essence, everyone is THAT - that ONE Essence - appearing as different objects - in essence it remains as ONE.
The appearance of 'many' is an illusion.
There NEVER was anyone that miss-led anyone - and never anyone who awoke - and there is NO BECOMING whatsoever.
You ARE and what you truly ARE is ALREADY free of duality - because even logically you must be that ONE - since THAT is all there IS.
THAT is REALITY - the rest is only APPEARANCE and (the subtle point that is consistently missed is) that appearance includes the body and the minds content -(Your body is the universe.)
There are no problems in direct cognition - that means that in the registering of everything that appears in THIS instant, there is no duality - so no conflict - there must be 2-ness for conflict to arise.
It is what the mind translates those impressions into - that 'becomes' an apparent
problem and that problem 'belongs' to a 'form' called 'me', a believed in entity, and that is only an appearance, a belief that seemingly occurs in the dualistic mind.
'Stay' with the pure seeing - be that only - at first for short periods - and they will (seemingly) increase (in duration) - that is what 'appears' to happen - it is a mind based point of view -a habitual view - appearing in mind.
One could say that, in such a case, what is happening is belief is being sidelined - and the directness of being comes to the fore - so simple - in being - so complex for the mind - because the mind can only divide oneness into a thousand 'things' - and yet Oneness is untouched by what any apparent mind is doing - because it is all a mirage.
KNOWING is all that is happening - and not to any 'person'.
ONE without a second.

Warm regards - Gilbert.

P.S. - As far as 'teachers' go - Follow what resonates with you. - The 'journey' is only in the appearance - coming 'Home' to the simple presence of being, takes NO TIME at all - But it does appear that one must drop the search, in order to find what IS already HERE. - It is so subtle, compared to the habitual mind stuff, that stuff that has crammed the mind and body for 'so long'. - Drop it and be vigilant, watch how the mind gravitates back to it - catch it at its game and it will lose its hold - but you need to be that wakefulness and not some 'entity'. - That is what you are - Wakefulness.