Saturday, May 19, 2007

Don't want to look at it - too unsettling - for whom?

You imagine that you can construct a ship made out of nothing but your sacred concepts and then you intend to sail deep into the Universal Ocean of Being and find your self projected imaginary treasure – but that Vast Ocean is nothing but imagination in non-conceptual awareness.
(You may or may not want to hear or read what I have to say - but I will say it anyway - you can always choose not to read it - or can you?
Maybe you just like the entertianment of my trivial notes?
Surely it is more entertaining than all those holy words that the western gurus play games with.
Some say that I am far too contraversial (at times) and some even believe that I am an evil son of a bitch (all the time) - and that makes my laugh.
An actor can take off his mask and leave it hanging on a hook on the back of the stage door - go home and sleep a blissful sleep, knowing that it is all just a play and that all the characters are just characters in a play.)
So, anyway, you are setting the sails on your conceptual rigging, bound to the mast by your own ideas - a personal sacred journey - but I am telling you that you are no better off than any other poor miserable seeker, who is in his barbwire canoe, up ‘shit creek’ with no paddle.
The hazy and indistinct, ever receding, horizon and that 'pot full of gold' will stay out of reach, as you imagine your advance. - The more you believe in it all, the more you wiggle about, the deeper into the shit you go. - Your guru watches you squirm but he is there with you squirming in his own sacred ways, unable to escape his own erroneous beliefs.
An image from Dante, or was it Goethe, springs to mind?
An image of suffering souls with their heads just sticking out above the muck (their habitual condition of belief), while two free souls walk and chat with ease across the murky mire.
What weighs these poor souls down? – Is it merely beliefs? – Personal history? - Fate?
The weight of the past and/or fear of the future?
Do you relate to such an image? - Are you repulsed from even holding such an image in the mind for more than a few seconds? - Is it too close to the bone?
In your own 'life story', have you unconsciously entered into sticky compromises, just so you can feel safe?
Is that fabricated ‘safety realm’ suffocating you with its mundane predictability?
Is the mind full of data that you have been fed by others and the media?
Will you fight a fierce fight for the sake of belief? - Where did those beliefs come from?
Is a fact more reliable than a belief?
Does a belief disintergrate in the face of bare facts? - Have you ever pondered such things?
Have you ever had an original thought of your own?
Where do all 'your' thoughts come from?
Are you behind them – within them or are you merely subjected to them?
Are they ‘the boss’ of your own mind? - if so, where are you?
Are you truly willing to explore your erroneous beliefs consciously?
Do you ever watch the mind to see what it is telling you?
Whose mind is it anyway? – Where are you in relation to the mind? - Are you that one that appears in the bathroom mirror? – Isn’t that just a reflection? - In that mirror, have you ever looked into that dark space beyond the iris? - Inner space? - Who is there?
Too spooky to contemplate?
For goodness sakes!!! - it is only yourself - are you afraid of your own self?
Are you still in kindergarden spiritual school? - Filled up with all that precious guru nonsense?
Is 'belief in belief' an unquestioned compartment in your own mind, filled up from ‘outside’ input?
What else lurks there? - Do these words make you uneasy or squirm?
Are you really happy with your self-image?
Is there a deep honesty there or is there just a whole bunch of self delusion and an avoidance of anything true, whatever the cost?
Why are you reading this? – Do you expect to find something here that you can 'gain or add' to your conceptual luggage?
Who are you? – What are you? - Do you really want to know?
Has that poncy guru promised to help you find out? - Does he insist on useing that old concept of ‘time’ - time to ‘get there’?

In a flash, in an instant, all such questions can be cut asunder in the recognition that you are the most simple of all simples - simplicity itself – space-like awareness.
Belief has lead you astray over and over and many spiritual 'stories' are just beliefs.
The truest 'spiritual story' is very brief - and example is this:
"I am THAT by which I KNOW I AM" - Nisargadatta.
All reference points, all concepts only 'appear' to depend on a construct, other reference points, other concepts. – That apparent dependency is a fraudulent impression and WHAT is it at the base of all such dependency? - Is that you there under all that weight?
All concepts are equal in their own simple nature – which is that they are all just ‘concept’.
In other words, a concept has no weight, no substance of itself.
Stop getting tangled in the conceptual constructions of your own mind.
Stop! - Cut through it all simply by being the actuality, being the factual, being what is authentic, what is REAL - knowing immediately that you are this simplicity - this naked, unembellished, knowing presence – this space-like awareness and that you are nothing other than THAT. - All the rest is a series of states, transient concepts and beliefs.
Recognize that all words are merely words – you are the sentient presence which gives words their apparent life – let them serve you or simply ignore them or banish them from your presence – BE what is real – the only place to discover what you truly are is right here, right now in the ‘space of knowing’ that you ARE.
That is the ‘great prize’ which all seekers walk blindly past in their own bondage of belief - belief in a ‘time realm’ of seeking.
Right here right now is this moment - OBVIOUS!
When has 'this moment' ever not been here and available?
Except 'when' because you have apparently ‘gone’ with a concept into a mind realm of ‘time’. - In such experiences (past), did you really go any 'other place' that is real (present)? - Of course not - is it too obvious to mention?
Right here, right now, is ever present, 'it' has not ever left 'this moment' and neither has the essence of what you truly are ever left 'this' moment.
There is no doubt here about any of this, thanks to my discovery of a profound, what shall I call it? - a profound ‘lead’, which I instantly responded to, when I listened in the year 2000, to a cassette recording of a single (ordinary weekly) meeting of Bob Adamson. – Sensing its profound, yet ordinary and even logical sensibilities, I simply followed that lead and now I can say that ‘time’ and 'the troubled realms of mind' have been seen through. – What a relief! - They can never trap me again – when they appear, they are instantly recognized for what they are – can you say the same for yourself?
No? – Then follow that lead.
Stop expecting to be hand fed by others. – Get off 'your ass' and investigate your own consciousness.